For a few months, I will provide a series of 12 scenarios that I hope you’ll find thought-provoking.
The intention behind this is to create simple, relevant experiences that are relatable and may “show up” in your day-to-day activities.
Each scenario will display a “before” and “after” comparison, encouraging you to think about how the particular scenario may play a role in your life.
Along with this, I’ll provide some additional thoughts/questions that will support you in your journey towards becoming a masterful communicator.
In all of the examples, the “after” is replaced with “Masterful Communicator”...
Here ya go…
In 2015, I received a masters degree in spiritual psychology.
When I share this with others, I tend to get one of two responses:
1) Oh, that’s really cool. OR…
2) What the HELL is that?!
Regardless, It’s a great conversation starter!
The spiritual psychology program was designed on the premise that “we’re all souls having a human experience.”
What does this mean?….
It means that your soul is on its own journey, and in this phase of the journey, your soul’s experiences will be from the human perspective – within your body.
And once this particular human experience concludes, your soul will continue onto the next phase of the journey.
As we all know, there’s a finite amount of time that your physical body will be on this earth.
In contrast, and from the premise of the master’s program, your soul’s journey goes on forever.
So, in the grand scheme of things, and if you buy into this premise, your soul has a short stint within this human experience, and because of this, it’s sole purpose (you see what I did there.:)) is to learn/grow/evolve before moving onto the next phase.
I really like this philosophy and fully bought into this premise before starting my masters program.
I also realize that this perspective on the soul/human connection may not be for you, and that’s totally cool.
So, regardless of whether, or not, you believe this to be true, you may resonate with the notion that one of the primary reasons you’re on this planet is to learn/grow/evolve as a human being….
AND, even more-so…., you may buy into the belief that self-compassion is one of the most important skills that you can develop in support of your process.
If so, we’re in business!
What if I told you that there are no rights and wrongs, would you agree?
In response, you may suggest that, “Killing somebody is definitely wrong, Adam”.
And…yes….I would find it very difficult to refute this argument.
So, for the sake of this exercise, let’s remove everything that is considered to be illegal from the equation…..
Now, with this being said, if I told you that there are no rights, or wrongs, would you agree?
Anytime you place a “right”, or “wrong” label on something, you’re in judgement. You’re judging something based off of your own personal beliefs.
It’s cool to have your own perspective on things, and value system; however, it doesn’t mean that other people share the same perspectives and values.
Having this type of mindset can often be challenging, especially when you witness someone doing something that you would NEVER do.
The irony is that when you vehemently disagree with something, “I would NEVER do that” and claim it to be “wrong”, there’s a good chance that you most likely have done something very similar in your past.
Now let’s take a look at the scenario from above,….
“You worked hard on a proposal and the client choose someone else” – “you blame yourself for not being good enough and it keeps you feeling stuck”.
The “I am not good enough” perspective is another form of judgement; in essence, you’re judging yourself and making yourself wrong!
It is this sense of “wrongness” that you hold against yourself that keeps you feeling stuck.
Similarly, claiming that someone else is “wrong” also keeps you stuck.
It doesn’t allow you to see things from a different perspective; from a position of neutrality.
This tendency is one of the primary drivers that prohibits you from advancing in your career, and life.
Compassion is what allows you to move through your “stuckness”; it’s what enables you to recognize and accept that nothing is personal….
…..#2 of the Four Agreements is don’t take things personally.
In today’s scenario, compassion is what allows you to move forward.
In the group coaching program that my company offers to organizations, we claim that compassion is the bridge that connects internal communication (communication with self) with external communication (communication with others).
When the “I’m not good enough” story starts to percolate inside of you, I encourage you to apply compassion to it. (This story came up for me a number of times this morning, and I gently rubbed it with some compassion – it definitely shifted things for me).
When you apply this type of compassion to yourself, you’re then able to apply it to others.
This is the key ingredient to getting the most out of the people around you, and more importantly, yourself.
So, when the stories of self-judgement, and judgement towards others, start to come up this week, I encourage you to take notice, remove yourself from wrongness and rightness, and give yourself and others compassion.
Is it always easy to do? HELL NO!
Is it worth trying. I believe so…
P.S. I appreciate when you share these newsletters with friends. It’s been fun watching the community grow. Thank you!