Have you ever not trusted your boss?
A terrible feeling that doesn’t leave room for growth and expansion. The irony is that you join a company to grow and expand.
Due to the power dynamic with your boss, it can be challenging to work towards a solution – it becomes a question of nature or nurture.
Meaning, is your boss inherently untrustworthy?
If it’s nature, they will have to work on themselves to change how they show up in the workplace, and it will most likely continue to be difficult for you.
However, this is good news if it’s a nurture situation, as change is highly possible.
If you’re a manager, own a company, have a big team or a small team, or if you’re an independent contributor, explore work situations where proper training is in place, where you’re developing as a leader, where you’re learning communication skills so that when you bump up against an issue with your boss, or with somebody else, you can move about it healthily and constructively.
In the video below and this article, I give three common scenarios that lead to this and why companies often find themselves in this place of dysfunction versus having constructive conversations and being able to build trust from within.
The first common scenario that leads to this feeling of distrust is excitement.
The problem with excitement is that it only lasts for a certain period, right? You come into a job, you’re excited about it, and the people seem super cool. You like the mission and the company’s values and seem to have much in common.
You can ride that excitement for a while until you get into a disagreement, and if you don’t trust your boss and proper training isn’t in place, you’re left feeling isolated, alone, frustrated, angry, and there’s nowhere to go.
So, excitement is incredible. It’s a great energy to have. But it would be best if you stepped into situations where you’ll have the proper communication techniques, whether you’re being managed or managing others.
It’s pretty apparent to suggest that you want to be in a situation where your company is growing.
However, especially with fast-growing companies, a common scenario is that the company is so focused on driving revenue that it’s not training its people.
And so, new positions open up, and new managers must be inserted into new managers’ roles quickly.
They haven’t been trained to be managers, haven’t had practical leadership training, and don’t have the emotional intelligence necessary to manage other people.
They feel overwhelmed, stressed, and taken on too much. And again, they don’t have that training to connect with the people on their team.
And if you’re on their team, this is when you suffer because there are no open lines of communication, and everyone’s GO GO GO GO GO, and you’re feeling conflicted, frustrated, and angry, you start talking to colleagues and friends. And now you’re in a challenging situation because you feel unheard, and it doesn’t feel like a safe environment.
It becomes essential in this situation to learn how to build trust within yourself and understand what things in your work environment will trigger frustration that will start anger.
If you are feeling these things, perhaps you can find a coach to work with or a therapist or mentor that’s going to help guide you and help develop those muscles within yourself to build that trust and to build that strength or to find ways to have constructive conversations with the people around you.
The third common scenario or situation that leads to distrust is that you are conflict-avoidant.
Being conflict-avoidant is something that exists within you. And it’s something that you have to be honest with yourself and examine and ask, “Why do I choose to move away from conflict?”
Eventually, you’re going to have to embrace the conflict, and you’re going to have to face it head-on. Otherwise, all the disputes tend to stack on one another. And then, you likely release it with lots of anger and frustration, and it comes out in ways that aren’t feel good for you or the people around you.
So if you tend to be conflict-avoidant, ask yourself, what is it about the conflict that I’m scared of? How can I develop the strength to be able to move towards conflict? What are the parts of me that I’m not familiar with that I can ask other people to give me feedback on that will help me embrace conflict versus being avoidant all the time?
You must think about these things and insert the proper training techniques and programs to help your teams and organization build trust for the long haul. Ultimately, this is what allows you to be successful.
Read more on trust and resilience at work.
Are you looking for additional support? Here are four ways I can help you…
1. Register for my FREE 2-Part Masterclass: ‘How to Develop Leaders at ALL Levels.’
2. Team training & group coaching for organizations/teams:
The Art of Masterful Communication group coaching program. Students in (100+) countries and companies in (30+) have completed the program. If you want to build your team’s trust & resilience and prepare them for long-term success, click here to schedule a call with me.
3. Are you looking for more support with individual coaching:
If you are a C-level exec, business owner, or senior leader and want to reach your potential through masterful communication, team building, and modern leadership skills, Click here to schedule a call with me.
4. Do you need a speaker or professional development for your team? Here are three of my most requested topics: 1. Conflict is the Catalyst – building trust & resilience in organizations; 2. How to develop leaders at all levels of an organization; 3. How to create memorable presentations. Click here to talk about your needs.
AND, If you haven’t already, click here to subscribe to the newsletter.