“I just need to be more positive”.
One of my clients said this to me the other day.
His self-assessment was probably accurate.
Feeling the need to be more positive is incredibly helpful, however, can also function as a bypass for your unresolved issues.
In response, I shared the following, “Perhaps it’s true, yah, you should probably be more positive….
AND, it’s important to acknowledge your challenging emotions as well. if you ignore these things now, you’ll have to deal with them later.”
With the rise of consciousness, spirituality, and wokeness in recent years, you may have heard the phrase spiritual bypassing, which is defined as the following:
“A tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”
If you look back at 2020, my guess is that you’ve had some challenging experiences.
As we move into Nov/Dec, it feels like an opportune time to acknowledge some of the pains, and struggles that come with these challenges….
THEN…. use this acknowledgement as a bridge to create a positive roadmap for the upcoming year.
How do you do this?
Aside from seeking support from others i.e. a therapist, or support groups, which I recommend and partake in, there’s immediate opportunities for you to take your own inventory.
Here’s a 5-step self-inventory process that you can use:
- Challenging events that took place this year: lost a job, stayed home in isolation, a family member got sick.
- How you’re feeling about these events: unworthy, lonely, sad.
- Forgive yourself: If you judge, or blame yourself for any of these situations, apply self-forgiveness. “I forgive myself for judging myself as unworthy”.
- State your truth: “I am worthy”.
- Get clear on what you want: I want to create the job of my dreams.
Once you’ve completed this process and gotten clear on what you want, you’re able to create your positive roadmap for that specific want.
Let’s use the example from above, “I want to create the job of my dreams”:
- What you want: autonomy, flexibility, creative control
- How you want to feel: elated, spirited, fulfilled
- How you’ll experience your days (use vivid, descriptive language): I AM joyfully starting my work day with enthusiasm and excitement.
By using descriptive language you bring your experience to life. Feel free to use as many descriptive sentences as you choose. The more specific you are, the better.
Through this manifestation process, you give yourself the opportunity visualize your future self. The more clear you are, the more empowered you become.
The objective is to move through any self-sabotaging feelings that you’re holding onto, and create space for new, positive experiences in your life.
Give it a shot. Let me know how it goes.