Last week I talked about how NOT to get results and introduced the “What About Me?” level of listening…
As a reminder….“What About Me?” is when you’re NOT listening…most people “listen” from this place.
“The truth is that listening is one of the most powerful leadership and communication skills available to you.”
So, why is it that most people don’t do it well?
There’s a number of reasons; here’s a few: you’re dealing with deadlines, family, relationships, social media….the list goes on and on.
The people who DON’T listen get consumed by these distractions.
The people who DO listen well, don’t get consumed, stay present and focused on the task at hand.
It’s that simple.
If you choose to become a better listener, it’s the first big step towards getting the results you desire.
Here are 3 simple steps to help you become a better listener:
1) Remove your agenda
2) Drop expectations
3) Embrace being in service.
Let’s quickly talk about each of them…
REMOVE YOUR AGENDA
Having an agenda when you’re intent on listening to another person(s) is synonymous with the “What About Me?” – you’re going into the conversation with a list of things you want to cover, versus, being curious and organically allowing things to unfold.
DROP EXPECTATIONS
This feels similar to removing your agenda, but it’s more about placing expectations on the end result i.e “I really wanted us to resolve our issue”, and then being disappointed when it doesn’t. Remove your expectations and learn to be ok with “what is”
EMBRACE BEING IN SERVICE
At the end of the day, listening is about being in service to the person(s) you’re engaged with. This means completely committing to the conversation with a willingness to “hear” what they’re saying. When you’re in service to others, not only does it empower the people around you, it feels good for you as well.
When you choose to listen, you build trust with, and empower the other person(s) involved in the discussion.
Next week, I’ll dive into Part 2 of “How You Get Results”; I’ll introduce more tips on how to be an effective listener and will focus on what comes next – now that you’ve listened, you’ll want to know how to drive a conversation towards results.
